Funny Internet Dating Stories (Part 3) Roaming Richard

Before I get to the details of this internet dating story, I’d like to tell you a bit more about Sara. I believe that the more you know about the main character the more you will appreciate the craziness of the situations she has found herself in.

Sara, as I have stated before, is beautiful. Upon meeting Sara I think you would be smitten by her eyes. Her deep chocolate brown eyes speak volumes … ‘eyes are the window of the soul.’ Sara’s eyes are constantly in twinkle mode and the sincerity they reflect is unmistakable. When you talk, Sara studies you and listens with her heart. She is not judgmental and will always choose her words carefully before speaking or giving her opinion. Her life is full and her creative spirit is always looking for outlets. She has used her drive, ambition and creativity to host a banquet and raise money for a friend with cancer; to develop, create and host her own Women’s Spa and Wellness Show. She is a porcelain doll artist and owned her own store and taught porcelain doll classes. Sara is the first one to notice when a friend is in need and to take steps to help. If she hears that someone is suffering financially .. though she has very little .. she will give her last penny so they don’t go without. Do you see what a kind and giving soul Sara possesses?

Let's proceed now to part three in a series on Sara's Funny Internet Dating Stories. As Sara was checking her email one day she found a message from a dating site. Upon opening the email she saw that someone was winking at her. When someone winks at you from this dating site it means they like your picture and/or profile. Sara closed her email and headed over to the website to investigate this winking Romeo.

His name was Richard. He lived in the same state that Sara was in ... only on the other side .... “now, that’s a plus,” thought Sara. Richard was an older man with wavy greying hair. "Distinguished looking" thought Sara. He had a very handsome and strong face. Sara gazed deep into his grey-blue eyes and imagined that they held wisdom and experience. Yes, I do like this face, she mused. As she read his profile she could see that they shared many compatibility factors. His background information revealed that he was established as a successful business man and that he owned two homes. After closing the profile, Sara headed back to her email to (wink) back at Richard. So began the friendly banter between the two. Their conversations were easy and Richard proved to be witty, charming and an enjoyable Internet companion.

As Sara continued talking to Richard she realized that he was becoming more appealing to her. The tone of his messages were filled with kindness and encouragement. Sara decided she rather liked his flattering, yet sincere, complements too.

As time passed and the email conversations deepened .. Richard took the plunge and asked for Sara's phone number. Sara felt pretty sure about this guy and decided she’d like to talk to him too. The night Richard called she felt butterfly's in her stomach as she reminded herself not to raise her expectations too high . "Hello", Sara answered with a lilt in her voice. "Hello Sara?" a very strong and kind voice asked. "Yes, this is Sara." "Sara, this is Richard, is this a good time for you to talk?" Sara thought his question to be quite thoughtful and answered, "Yes Richard, I'm free right now." "Great!" came Richard's relieved response. Sara enjoyed listening to the deep, calming and kind voice on the other end of the line. She was pleased that the conversation flowed so easy and that Richard was so attentive when it was her turn to talk. At the end of the call Richard asked Sara if she would like to go on a dinner date the following weekend. Sara paused, but only for a moment, "Yes Richard, I would love to meet you." They made arrangements to meet in a city by Sara's home. They would meet face to face at the Holiday Inn at 6pm. Throughout the week Richard continued to call each night. She felt at home and relaxed whenever they talked.

On Friday Richard called to say he was on his way to the Holiday Inn. His voice was colored with excitement and cheer. As Sara worked that day her thoughts kept turning to Richard. Sara felt the familiar thrill of meeting a new Internet suitor.

The day seemed to drag for Sara, but 5:00 pm finally came and it was time to go home. Once home she quickly slipped on a sleek black dress, fixed her hair and touched up her lipstick. As she was walking out the door her telephone rang ... she noticed the time .. it was 5:35. "Hello" said Sara ... it was Richard. "Sara," he began, "I'm almost there, ya know I can hardly wait to meet you." Sara blushed a little as she answered, "me too." Sara called to her daughter Jill ... time to go girl... Jill and Sara chatted and laughed about dating mishaps as Jill drove her to the restaurant.

They reached the Holiday Inn at 6:00p.m. As Sara walked toward the front door she heard Jill's soft, sweet voice calling ... 'Have fun mom...' Sara turned to wave and thew her a BIG smile as she continued through the door. Breezing through the lobby she looked for a man that matched the picture of Richard. There was no man waiting in the lobby. She turned and headed for the restaurant and bar. As she peered into the bar she saw a couple of single men sitting there. One had grey hair, but didn't quite look like Richard's picture ... at least not from the back; but to be sure she casually walked by him. No, this man is not Richard, too short and too plain. She turned to face the restaurant and scanned the room ... hm-mm, "He must be running late," She thought.

Sara decided to go back to the lobby and relax in a chair until he came. Ten minutes later her cell phone rang, it was Richard. "Hello Richard" said Sara ... "Hi Sara," came Richards cheerful voice, "Are you running late?" "What," answered a confused Sara ..."No, Richard I am not running late, I am here at the Holiday Inn, where are you?" Richard had that familiar smiley tone to his voice as he answered, "I'm sitting at the bar drinking a coke Sara ... I'm here." "But Richard," Sara replied, "I just walked through the bar ten minutes ago and you weren't there." "Sara, why don't you come back to the bar and I'll look for you." Richard urged. Sara followed his lead, with cellphone in hand, and walked toward the bar thinking ... "perhaps he was in the men's room when I walked through earlier." She walked into the bar and the same two men were sitting there. The gray haired man was not looking her way and she was relieved that he was not Richard. "Richard, I am standing in this room and you are NOT here." Sara sounded exasperated. "Hm-mm, I don't get it, I'm watching for you and I don't see you either."

All of a sudden Sara had a thought. "Richard, what city are you in?" Richard named the city she had told him to meet her in. "Are you sure Richard." "Yes, of course I am." Richard answered. Sara suggested that he ask a waitress what city he was in. Richard complied ... she could hear him asking and she could hear the answer. Oh NO, he is an hour South of their meeting place. Sara explained what town he was in and, although it sounded like the town he was headed for, it, in fact was NOT the right town. Richard was very apologetic and then suggested, "Sara why don't you hop in your car and meet me here .... I'll wait for you." Sara explained that Jill had dropped her off and that she was not traveling an hour away to meet him. Richard responded, "Alright honey, I’ll get in the car and meet you real soon" ... and then he hung up…

Sara called Jill who came and picked her up to take her home. She was weighing the situation in her head. Why would he expect me to drive an hour away when the arrangements had already been made ... and he's the one who got lost. It was also the first time he had referred to her as honey. She was NOT his honey!

As Sara walked into her house she continued to reflect on what was happening. She sat in her favorite rocker and relaxed while she awaited Richard's call. An hour later the cell phone rang again. It was Richard. "I’m almost there honey, what exit are you at?" Sara told him and he answered, okay, I'll call you real soon ... before Sara could respond he hung up again.  It was now past dinner time and Sara was growing weary of the wait. Another hour passed and Sara could not figure out where he could have gone.  The phone rang again with Richard announcing that he had finally reached the Holiday Inn and he would be waiting for her in the front lobby. "Good," Sara Responded "It's pretty late but we can meet for a little while." Then the thought came.. and as a precaution, she asked him what city he was in ... of course he repeated the city they were to meet in.  She decided to go a step further by saying ... "Richard, I want you to ask someone what city you are in before I go back to the Holiday Inn." Richard sounded a bit irritated but he asked... and you'll never believe this, he was now one and a half hours South-West of Sara's town. He quickly told her he was in the wrong place but he would be there as soon as he could. Sara told him it was too late and that it would take him too long to get to her city.  Richard said, "It's ok honey, I'll be there real soon" ... and again he hung up! Yes, he hung up again!

Sara was getting angry at this point because he kept hanging up on her. In fact she called me for a reality check. We laughed until the tears rolled ... what kind of a man gets lost like this??? We threw around ideas like alzheimers, maybe he was drinking on the way, perhaps he's very directionally challenged, demented .. who knows?. At the end of the conversation I validated Sara's decision to send the guy back where he came from. 

At 9pm Sara called Richard. "Richard, why do you keep hanging up on me?". "Oh honey I'm not hanging up on you .... we did get disconnected a few times," Richard answered. WHATEVER, Sara screamed inwardly. "Richard, do you know what time it is?" ""Yes I do honey, but I'll be there in a minute." "What mile marker are you at Richard." Sara inquired. Richard told her and she was compeletly baffled. Richard had now turned around and was headed East ... back toward his own home town. "Richard," Sara's voice held a very stern tone .. "You are going the wrong way …. You are almost back to your home town…" "No, honey I'm not, I'll be there pretty soon" .. was that a slur she heard in his voice? "LIsten," Sara began, "I used to live on that side of the State I know exactly where you are ... you might as well go home ... Let’s just call it a night and maybe we can reschedule another time." It was Richard's turn to be firm now, ... "I am NOT picking another day, my sister is watching my dog (this is a reason ... you've got to be kidding me,") thought Sara, Richard continued, "and I’ve driven all this way to see you!" "But you are no where near me…." Sara exclaimed. Richard was insistant as he said "I’m telling you I’m very close, I’ll call you when I get there honey.. really honey I’m almost there"… and then … he hung up again. Sara was numb ... it felt like she was in twilight zone. She was so glad she hadn't given Richard her house address. She felt uneasy enough that he was still planning to drive to her neighboring city.

Sara headed for her room to change into something more comfortable. She had made her decision. She would NOT be meeting Richard tonight. She fixed a cup of hot cocoa as she contemplated what she would say to make him understand. This was a dinner date and it was way past dinner time. After taking some time to think it through and carefully choosing the words ... she determined to give it one last shot ... she picked up the phone and called him. "Richard," she began, DO NOT hang up on me .... If you drive to the Holiday Inn I will NOT be there to meet you .... I told you to turn around an hour ago and you are not hearing me …" Richard answered her by saying "I believe God wants us together tonight and I am coming regardless" … and he hung up again .... yes he really did. Sara was fuming mad ... she couldn't believe that Richard just dragged God into this crazy situation.

It had been a very long day and an unbelieveable night. Sara picked up a book, sat in her favorite rocker and attempted to wind down. She read for awhile .. it seemed to calm her nerves and she was now feeling sleepy. Sara picked up her phone and headed for the warmth and security of her bedroom. She changed quickly into her flannels and pulled her fluffy down comforter up to her chin .... but her mind wasn't ready to settle down yet. Just as she started to doze off the phone rang again ... Sara had already decided she would not pick it up. Her phone played a tune to let her know there was a message waiting. It was Richard, of course. He left a message saying "I'’m here ... I’m at the hotel, call me." Sara was now officially spooked and wide awake again … oh my gosh he’s here - at least he thinks he's here ... who knows? This is too freaky! Sara thought, Is he a crazy, he's acting like a stalker .... maybe he's a murderer. YIKES! Twenty minutes later another message from Richard came through. His voice message said, "I can’t believe you are doing this to me … I believe God wanted us together tonight … I can’t believe what you are pulling here … I’ve driven all this way … you are SO deceptive" Ugh ... Sara barely slept that night ... every little noise made her jump and her thoughts were running rampant.

Sara learned a few important things about Richard that fateful night. She learned that something was really wrong up top ... that his favorite word was honey and his favorite thing to do was to hang up. :-)

The next day Richard left a couple more messages. His messages resonated of the familiar tone Sara had been accustomed to ... before last night that is. "Sara, will you please call me back, I'd really like to talk to you .... do you think we can work this out?". Sara's thoughts were racing as she listened to him. 'Work WHAT out? You are a maniac and you can't even find your way on an East/West highway .... You've driven South and then West ... then turned around and headed back East .... you show up about 5 hours late for a dinner date and then accuse me of being deceptive!" Jeez ... What's wrong with this picture!

Later that day Richard left another message, "Would you please call me back honey, we really need to work through this" Sara's blood pressure rose as she remembered his accusations and his manipulation of her. He was so rude and NOW he wants to work it out with me, she thought … No, thank you! It's over!

He sent a few emails out after that telling her that he thought they had something good going on between them … asking .. won’t you please talk to me?

Nope, there was no way on God's green earth she would meet him. Once Sara makes up her mind, there is no compromise. Richard had been rude, demeaning and accusing; he would never have an opportunity to call her honey or to hang up on her again.

This is the last of the internet series about Sara's Funny Internet Dating Stories. For her sake, I hope she never has another one for me to write.