True Love is Patient and Kind

As two independent people enter into a marriage relationship the chances of making it 'til death do us part' are scarce. Most couples enter into the sacred bonds of marriage with an attitude of total commitment and loyalty.

Naturally during the dating years, with star lit eyes, their love is patient and kind toward each other. They have been on their best behavior and see only the strengths of their beloved. Standing at the alter they commit and confess that they have chosen each other from all the others in their world. Their true expectations are to keep their vows as they eagerly anticipate a lifetime of love together... through good times and bad. Only experience can show them just how bad the bad can get.

Star filled eyes, trusting hearts, hands eager to bless ... such is the status for many an idealistic newlywed. Will those vows remain unbroken or will they crash into pieces just as Humpty Dumpty ... who so trustingly and vulnerably sat on the wall ... and had that great fall?

Most newlyweds are naive about the dangers lurking behind the vows of marriage spoken on their wedding day. Dangers of complacency, selfishness, temptations and carelessness. They do not yet fully grasp the fact that a marriage must be nurtured, just as your dating period was nurtured, or it will fizzle out and die. If neglected, the joy and life of your union will literally drain from the foundation. We all have a choice, a choice to invest in our spouse or to drain and take from our spouse. Far too many give up before learning how to love.

Human nature and our culture is very self centered and self serving. We want to be happy, served, entertained and have our deepest needs met. This expectation is unrealistic because no one person can meet these expectations. When entering into a relationship it is vital to come equipped with an attitude of love, respect, communication and commitment. It's 'You first' mentality that brings a couple close. I know, not popular today .. but how do you think the 'Me First' mentality is working? Will you do your best to bring joy to your loved one?

Accountability is very helpful both on the human and divine level. When we ask a trusted friend to hold us accountable for the way that we treat our spouse ... it will keep us on our toes. A good friend will help you to keep your attitudes and heart where it needs to be. Praying about your marriage and your relationship will keep God in the circle of your union. God can do what humankind cannot. He not only see's into our heart but has the power to change it. As we commit our thinking to God and submit ourselves to God in prayer, He will prompt us and direct our thinking toward a committed mode.

In my experience, of thirty eight years of marriage, God makes all the difference between an attitude of surviving verses thriving. If both partners look to God for guidance and if they love God with all of their hearts ... that love naturally spills over onto their spouse. Does loving God make us perfect? No way, not even close. We are all human and slip into our own selfish, hedonistic ways. We hurt each other ... but when God is first ... our hearts continue to go back to HIM and then to each other. When we go to God we acknowledge His truth about love which is found in the Word of God.

In I Cor. 13:4-8a we find a definition of Love also known as 'The Fruits of the Spirit' ... Author, Father God.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

In today’s world the values people live by are opposite of the values we learn from God's word. Seems the message we get from Hollywood, billboards, romance novels etc. is .. in order to be happy you must be beautiful, rich, successful at work, popular and basically get all of your own desires satisfied. It's self centered gratification and if you've lived long enough .. you know that these attributes do not bring peace or happiness.

So, how does one turn from selfishness to love? First of all feelings have nothing to do with true love. Feelings can swing from loving to hostile in any given moment. In the definition above you will not find feelings listed anywhere. Why? Because feelings come and go. Feelings are up and down. What would happen to us if we followed our feelings in all areas of our lives? One day you may not feel like getting up in the morning for work .. Do you listen to your feelings when the alarm goes off? NO, you tell your feelings what you are going to do. Same is true with love .. it is a choice. Don't feel like being loving? Tell your feelings that they will follow your decision to love. Love because your spouse needs your love, love because it will build your marriage, love because it makes you a better person.

Love is about commitment and choosing to practice acts of love .. to give of oneself to the betterment of the one you love. When you choose to love it returns to you many times over. Choose to build a strong relationship, a Corinthians love that will weather the storms of life. Can you imagine if both husband and wife practiced Love according to God?

Protect your marriage by putting God first, taking heed to God's definition of love, praying for your partner and practicing the 'fruits of the Spirit' in your communication with and actions toward your beloved.

After writing this hub, I feel it necessary to acknowledge that there are people in marriages who are suffering. Good people who have loved and given sacrificially to their beloved. They took their vows very seriously. For those in the midst of betrayal .. understand that we can only control our own actions and reactions. If love is one-sided or if a departure of love has led to infidelity or abuse .. with an unrepentant heart .. then it cannot be blessed for God is no longer in it. After you have done all you know and have prayed and acted out God's definition of love - your spouse still has the choice to self-indulge and/or dishonor you. If you are God's child, He will never leave you or forsake you. He will be your constant when your world is wrong. May God bind up all your wounds and may you find peace in knowing you are His and He is yours. Even in the best of marriages one must come to the place where we find God to be our all in all.

Chris Medina was a contestant on American Idol in 2011. His story of true love touched the heart of America. Chris's fiancee was in an automobile accident and suffered serious brain damage. Grab a Kleenex as you listen to Chris' story and song of true commitment and love.

What are Words if you really don't mean them?

Lord, teach us to love each other as you have loved us. You gave your very life for us. Give us the strength to love like that. Bless our marriages and keep us close to your heart I pray. Prompt us and discipline us when we get engrossed in our own self-centerdness. May we, as a couple, be a light in a very dark world .. a light that shines brightly and exclaims .. LOVE still Lives.

Thank you for stopping by for a read. I appreciate any and all feedback you might have to offer. I have created a place to make my articles easier to find. To view a list of topics and themes go to Mekenzie's Hub Categories There are two parts for Hub Categories - the link to Part One or Two is found at the bottom of each Hub.

God Bless and keep you all close to His heart!