A Mother's Grief - A True Story and Poem for a Mother who lost her Baby
83
Mother's Day Grief
It was Mother's Day; I was engaged with and enjoying my grown children and beautiful grandchildren; when out of the blue .. my thoughts went to Kelly. What was she experiencing this Mothers Day? She had just lost her second baby due to a genetic glitch.
Kelly's first pregnancy seemed to be normal. As the weeks passed her heart was filled with excitement and anticipation. When Kelly went in for her twelve week checkup, she was not prepared for what the physician had to say. Kelly felt numb inside when she was told that her baby probably would not make it. At Fifteen weeks it was confirmed, her precious baby girl would not live. In Shock and disbelief Kelly was told that there was a chance the baby would live through the birth; and that if she did make it, the baby would die soon after. The physician gave Kelly a choice; to abort and avoid the pain or to continue the pregnancy to term. This child wouldn't live so why not spare herself the pain? .... not an option for Kelly; you see she already loved her child within and would bravely go through the rest of her pregnancy just for a chance to look into the face of her angel baby.
Aurora Skye lived for about an hour before she took her last breath. Her mommy clung to her and hungrily studied each delicate feature and beautiful curve of her tiny face. It was a time of mourning like none she had ever faced.
A memorial for little Aurora was planned. I remember the fight within, I did not want to face the pain of this brutal reality. I could not imagine how Kelly and Seth could get through it. As I walked into the greeting room, I could not hold back the tears. My eyes fixed on an eloquent and stately bouquet of White Cali Lilly's, I knew they were Kelly's favorite flower. On display were painful reminders of a little life no longer among us. At the front of the room was one of her tiny outfits, some of her toys, angel figurines, flowers and more personal items. During the service there were beautiful tributes; one of them written by Kelly and Seth. I was amazed as I watched Seth stand and read it himself. The tribute revealed some amazing and creative writing. The love and devotion those words conveyed revealed raw, pain-filled emotions. The word picture of this writing was vividly painted with skill and great artistry.
Loosing Elijah Praise
Later Kelly would, tragically, face another loss. It was the loss of her second child, an adorable baby boy, who had also acquired the genetic anomaly. The hope of his future lay in awaiting new kidneys ... but in a tragic scheme of events Elijah died before that hope could be fulfilled. Imagine the nurturing, loving and bonding that took place over those months. Picture the process of getting to know every line of your baby's face and laboring to memorize every precious expression. Envision Kelly and Seth treasuring each and every milestone as he grew; drinking in his hugs, smiles and sounds .... breathing in the unique scent of their little man ... only to loose him too. Kelly and her husband Seth grieved like most cannot even come close to comprehending.
The funeral for Elijah was filled with many caring people who stood beside them and prayed with them on their, all too brief, journey. A video (Actual Video Posted Below) starring Elijah, brought his little life right into the room .. in living color. People were weeping all around me as we watched poignant moments in this brave little boy's life. The video was filled with such precious memories. There were many happy smiles, laughter and clapping. At one point, in the video, we watched as the faces of mommy and Elijah filled the screen. We listened as mommy sang to her one and only child .. the pain coursing through the room was palpable. We were all witness to so much love and intimacy between the three they called family. Throughout the video there were songs which ripped open the vulnerable parts of my heart; the tears were flowing as I sought to control the sobs. We mourned and grieved the loss of his little life. ..... it was a gut wrenching shake-up of what we call reality.
In the dark days that followed, grief consumed Kelly and Seth. As the days turned into weeks and weeks into months Kelly had some hard decisions to make. Should she try again and have her heart lain vulnerable and bare; subject to being ripped apart again or should she let go of her dream of being a Mother. When most would have regressed into fear of more pain (understandably so) Kelly went forward in Faith believing she could have a healthy child.
Amazingly Kelly's desire to be a Mother came to be. Today Kelly has a healthy little cherub boy and a healthy beautiful baby girl. I can't tell you how much I admire her for her courage and her refusal to give up on hope.
It is to Kelly I have written and dedicated this Mother's Day Poem of bereavement and loss.
Elijah Praise
Mother's Day Grief
Lord, a young woman weeps on Mother's Day
In darkness she sits numb and afraid
She longs for JOY from that empty room
Now it speaks only of death and the tomb
The distinct scents of her children persist
A constant reminder of a future missed
The passionate quest that once filled her breast
is buried with her children .. in the tomb it rests.
Memories keep racing through her mind
Such awful agony ... like no other kind
The pain so raw she can hardly bare
Oh dear God ... it just doesn't seem fair
Her babies' so completed her life
but now her heart is filled with strife
Lord today she needs a miraculous touch
from the hand of the Father who cares so much
Her hope rests in Heaven
where her soul will find joy
As she finally embraces
her baby girl and her baby boy
CommentsLoading...
Thank you for sharing this story. I also lost a baby girl. I am so glad that your friend made the decision to try again. Very nice article.
Faith, yes beautiful little lives for sure. Many many people followed Kelly's journal during this time and cheered her on, praying for her each day.
Appreciate your comment. It's all about HIS love is it not?
God Bless YOU!
Mekenzie
Thank you for sharing your love for your friend in this manner. A beautiful poem for beautiful little lives. He heals!!! In His Love.
Rosemary, yes it was difficult to write yet I felt led to put some thoughts, feelings and poetry about their little lives and their mommy's love into print. Kelly was very blessed by it and that is what I hoped for. She did not want people to forget her babies were here and that they were very precious.
Thank you for reading and leaving your kind comment.
God Bless YOU!
Mekenzie
Your hub was in the sidebar as a related hub of one I was reading. This must have been so very hard to write.
Kelly's story is just heart breaking, to lose not one but two babies must have been just devastating, She was so brave to try again and risk going through all that sorrow and pain again.
My heart goes out to her and her husband.
God bless
Dear Sherbanoo, Oh, dear mom, you are so fresh in your grief. No, nothing can replace the child that you lost .. Your babygirl will forever be in your heart and mind. People who have never lost a child often do not understand this.
Yes Kelly and Seth went through unimaginable pain. Today Kelly is very, very sick and she needs prayer. I'm sure she'd appreciate your prayers for her .. her two little ones need their mommy and she wants to be there for them.
God Bless you and Hold you Close!
Mekenzie
I am a grieving mother as well. God has blessed me with my first born and he is praise the lord a happy and healthy little 2 year old boy.
My daughter was born on 26th Jan 2012 and passed away 11th feb 2012 just 17 days later due to a blood infection that she was born with and which was not detected till it was too late.
the doctors told us that if she had survived she wouldve been permanently brain damaged.
i am sitting here now 2 weeks after her death. i thank god for giving me 1 healthy child at least.. but it doesnt take away the pain of losing her..
i can imagine what this couple went through and twice at that!! make God give them both more strength and give their other 2 kids a long and happy life!
donnaisabella, yes dear lady it was painful for me to write, but no where near as painful as living it as Seth and Kelly did. Thank you for your Blessings - You are too kind!
Mekenzie
Oh thanks so much for sharing. I can imagine this was painful for you to write, but it must also bring some kind of healing. May God continue to bless you, Seth and Kelly.
Your welcomed ms ashlynn :)
HUGS!
thanks ms makenizie :)
My eyes welled up with tears reading this. Her only son .. I cannot begin to imagine the depth of pain she is in. I know he was well loved. If you ever want to inbox me feel free - it's under my picture on the right.
hey mekenzi , im doing much better , not a day goes by that i dont think about him and my eyes fill with tears... i want him here in the body sooo badly but i know its not going to happen...but i am coping....my bro and i have different moms but i just want to be there and comfort her , she changed her number and my dad said he went to see her not too long ago and she was in bed,not eating..just in a bad state right now ...it was her only son...and he was hit by two cars on his way home from school not too far from home...he was the smartest boy i knew and im not saying that because he was my brother...in 7th grade he was on a 12th grade level in reading....made straight a's , good on the basketball team and loveeeeeed science. he would have made a great scientist...i could not wait to see him excel . ! goshhh ,he's going to be missed
thanks ms mekenzie !
ashlynn, I am so very sorry for your loss dear girl. Yes you are right that there is no pain, for a mom, like that of losing her child. How are you doing? You explained that your brothers, Father and Mother are grieving but how are you?
In regards to your Dad, it is my guess that, as the man of the house, your Dad feels that he has to hold it together for the rest of you. Men don't often allow themselves to cry or break down as they view it as 'weak' but it is not weak. I'm sure this loss is just as devastating to your Dad and I pray that, in his private moments, he is able to let the pain out and grieve.
I will pray for your family .. there are no short cuts with grief - the only way to heal is to go through it though you think your heart will break .. Time heals, lots and lots of time, not completely as there will always be that ache for his presence, but it will become bearable. Give your Mom lots of hugs and tell you love her often.
Hugs!
Mekenzie
Awww, this was really nice ! i lost my brother on december 15th, he'd just turned 16 exactly two weeks before...i watched his mom go through the most unbearable and extreme pain ever. to watch someone cry out the way she did is somting ou'll never forget and never want to witness. It's nothing you can do to help,nothing you can do to bring him back for her and yourself is just awful...it's very painful,i cant imagine being in her shoes...my dad kind of took it hard but no where near how my brothers mom took it,he broke down at the funeral but his not in the same condition she's in....his mom called my dad and asked "why do it seems you're not hurt or his death didnt bother you as much?" ...it's not that...he grieves privately and no one goes through pain like a mother losing a child...even a father .
The loss of a child is so heartbreaking. Stay close to this mom, if she is your friend, she needs to know she is not alone and that people are there for her. Grieving is hard work - it cannot be rushed, there are no short cuts. Thank you for sharing eileen!
Mekenzie
borrowing for a mom i know, who is still struggling...my heart just breaks for her...they lost their home and bizness trying to save him from the horrible Cancer beast, and had to move after such a loss. Thank you for penning this so beautifully.
Dear Grace, I am sorry to know you have lived this type of loss. It is a loss like none other. Actually, I did not plan to write this, the thoughts and words were swimming in my brain, so I sat down and gave them release.
Kelly is experiencing some health problems at this time and we sure would appreciate prayers for her. Her children are beautiful and doing very well.
Thanks for your comment!
Blessings!
Mekenzie
I know this loss all too well. How amazing of you to write this.
Dear One2recognise2, Thank you for your very sweet words of encouragement. I hope that your friend finds hope through Kelly and Seth's story. The loss of a child is a pain like none other - I am glad she has you as her friend!
God Bless You!
Mekenzie
Hi Mekenzie, this hub was truly heartfelt and I commend you for doing such a great job. My friend lost her baby the day she brought her home and I believe it was due to the same thing that plagued Kelly's two precious ones.
I will be sure to share this hub with her and thank you so very much for submitting her story and poem it was truly a wonderful tribute. God bless you.
Carole, Nice to have you visit my hub. This was an extremely heartfelt and agonizing hub to write. Writing this did bless Kelly and she so appreciated another avenue to share her children's short life story.
God Bless!
Mekenzie
Beautiful, Awesome...you are blessed. :)
Yes Will, very tragic indeed.
Losing them is really tragic.
Coolca, I agree with you. The loss of a child just does not compute .. the pain is agonizing. Currently praying for another sweet family whose child has been given a week to 3 months to live. The agony and grief is gut wrenching.
I pray the family comes through as strong as Seth and Kelly have. They are stronger today than when they lost their first child. That doesn't happen often as the statistics for divorce are extremely high with the loss of a child. God continues to be their solace and their trust in Him has brought them peace. God uses them to challenge and encourage many people.
Mekenzie
Mother's and Father's are not suppose to lay there children to rest. It is suppose to be the other way around. I am 56 years old and this story has brought tears to my eyes. That little bundle of joy will someday again be reunited with his loving mom and dad. May God bless and keep them safe.
Jennifer, I know the feeling .. there is nothing we can say that will help the pain. I am glad that your niece Prissy was surrounded by family and love as damian passed from this life to the glories of Heaven.
I am sure your niece feels the love you have for her .. Our heart's shine through our eyes. I pray that Prissy will heal and find strength to go on and hopefully have another baby to hold. Damian will always be her first and a treasure no one else will replace.
Thank you for stopping by and sharing Damian's and Prissy's story.
Blessings!
Mekenzie
my niece "prissy" lost her baby at the age of 18 he was only 4 1/2 days old but made a lasting impression on us all. We knew only 3 months into her pregnancy that he wouldnt make it and thought it would only be a few hours at most. He lived 4 1/2 days to come home and to hold out hand and to cry and he was on hospice. he never ate...and he was so beautiful. All the family was with him from the beginning until the end. His name was Damian Woodrow Fuller, and I am 28 years old and have 5 children of my own whom were all healthy and to see my 18 year old niece going through this broke my heart knowing that nothing i could ever say or ever do would help her. But I love her and she had so much courage and strength that you could only imagine. alot stronger than me.
Dotty, to look into your sweet baby girl's face and to hope desperately that she will live; only to face empty arms is excruciating pain. Oh dear Dotty, know that your baby is in Heaven .. though your heart aches to embrace her, know that she lives on in a place where there are no more tears or heartache. If you need a friend as you work through the hardest days of grief, feel free to email me.
Sending love to you dear Mom,
Mekenzie
I too lost my baby three months ago. she was a week old and never made it out of the NICU. She came a month early and her lungs were too week to support her. Its the most painful experience in life.
Thank you sweet Sky - I need to stop by your hubs and see what you are up to these days. I've been away from the hubs for a while now and must say I miss my friends!
A beautiful and painful hub. God bless you Mekenzie as you continue to bless others.
Candace, Only a Mother who has been there can truly know the grief you have born and the ache in your heart. I went to your website and found that you are using your pain to help other's work through their own grief.
I am blessed to hear that my poem touched your heart. Thank you for leaving your comment and may God continue to heal your heart and use your life to inspire many.
God Bless and Keep you!
Mekenzie
This has me in tears. We lost our baby boy Gavin last December at only 10 weeks old. After a totally healthy pregnancy, he was born with a very rare brain malformation. He spent some time at home, but due to awful seizures, much of his short life was spent in the hospital. It is so painful to not just lose a child, but one you have held, fed, snuggled and loved. We also have a healthy 8 year old and I thank God for him every single day. We do not know if we will try for more children - genetics could not give us a certain answer .. they don't think it was genetic (no findings) but can't be 100% sure. Anyway, it's heartbreaking and your poem really touched me. I identify with every line.
I wrote a blog post about healing and overcoming loss - it's geared towards professionals (as that's my business) but is also very personal about the emotions I experienced.
Here is the link if anyone is interested -
God Bless you dear N.E. Wright!
Mekenzie
I will share again, because people really do need to know.
Take Care,
N.E.
You now have touched my heart dear N.E. It is touched at the realization that the message got through. The depth of pain involved in loss is very hard to put into words; especially that of a child. Kelly wants people to know about her precious baby's and she will be honored by your comment.
God bless you for your heart of caring.
Mekenzie
Hello Mekenie,
I am trying not cry.
This beautiful, yet sad, poem truly touched my heart. I loved the back ground story you laid out about Kelly, and adored the poem.
I shared it on my Face-Book page, and I will send it to my other followers.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Take Care,
N.E.
Annette, I am so sorry for your loss. I am a Grandma too and just the thought of loosing one of my grandchildren makes me feel faint.
Your anger is understandable ... grieving brings out much anger that must be worked through .. HARD WORK! My perspective comes from one who totally trusts that God is good. I totally believe what God tells me in His word. The story of King David tells me that the baby goes right to heaven. Here is part of the story from the Bible: "David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. And the elders of his house stood beside him, to raise him from the ground, but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, “Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us. How then can we say to him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm.” But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” They said, “He is dead.” Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate. Then his servants said to him, “What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.” He said, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.”” II Samuel 12:16-32
Heaven is a real place .. your sweet Marley is with God and he will never face the trials and tribulations you and I do here on earth.
I will pray for you Annette as you work through your grief. How is your child, who lost the baby, doing? You may inbox me if you'd like to.
Warm Hugs!
Mekenzie
I am so angry at God for taking my little Grandson Marley. I am trying to believe that Marley has eternal life and that I will see him again one day. But it is so hard. If God is good why did he take an innocent child/ Why is he punishing me?
jjmyles, Yes it does leave a huge agonizing hole. Thanks for the read and your comments - Kelly and Seth are amazing!
Mekenzie
The loss of a child leaves an agonizing hole in a parents heart that only God can heal. This is an amazing hub.
You will see them again dear By Grace. I am sorry that you had to go through the grief of loosing three little ones .. WOW, that had to be Soooo HARD. I am glad this poem touched your heart and that God assured you that they await you in Heaven.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a part of your story here.
God Bless You sweet Friend!
Mekenzie
I was very touched by this hub, and your poem really moved me too. I suffered three miscarriages before I had my two children.
I tell you this only because like you have intimated in your comments (Kelly's little deposits in Heaven) God gave me the same revelation that one day I would see the children and that revelation gave me an great deal of comfort.
Skye, Kelly's husband Seth is a CLOSE family friend. His mom is one of my BEST friends in the World! When I first met Kelly .. I just loved her instantly. Kelly and Seth's lives are a real testament of God's LOVE.
Your poor dear sister and husband. I cannot imagine the pain they must feel .. and the rest of the family too. Incredible LOSS! I pray they find their way to the heart of God and that He applies the Balm of love and healing as ONLY He possesses.
I am touched that you would pray for Kelly and Seth. Kelly has this hubsite and she will be blessed to read this too.
My sweet skye, life is incredibly tough isn't it. So hard to watch those we love face incredible horrid pain. As you always say .. God takes care of His kids.
You are going to LOVE being a Grandma.. and you'll play a vital role in that babies life .. with all of the kindness and love in your heart. I have 10 grandkids .. They all came so close together and they're growing up as one big fun-filled family .. These 8 grandaughters and the last 2 .. gandsons bring me more JOY than most anything else on Earth.
Thanks for the kind words .. I LOVE your heart Sista!
Mekenzie
Mekenzie You are one of the most selfless women I know. Really to write this in honor of your loving friend takes great courage, that comes from the Lord. He shines on you sweet gem. The feelings writing this must have been gut wenching and healing to say the least. May our Lord Bless Kelly and her family with long happy lives. God is good. The good news is she will be with them one day. That is the most awesome promise.
My sisters step son took his life July 09. 25 years old. He suffered Bi Polar. Her husband is trying so hard to piece it together. They have gone through a pain I can not imagine. Lord keep our children out of harms way. I have prayed for your Friends Kelly and Seth. God can turn ALL things for good. May God Bless you 100 fold for sharing this story. It makes me feel grateful but sad. Kelly and Seth have great faith. Praise the Lord.
My baby daughter is having a baby in October. She is 20 years old. My Frost grandchild. I am beside myself.
I love your writing because it flows with the sweet tender spirit God made you to be. Keep on sweet gem, there is much to do for our Lord. Many Blessings today and always.
Love ya sista. (-:
I know that you know that kind of pain dear friend. It is so heartbreaking for those who know and love Kelly and Seth. They are quite the strong couple of Faith ... I have seen your strength too and stand in awe. Kelly's little deposits in Heaven are never ever forgotten. Thanks for the kind words.
Blessings!
Mekenzie
Oh my. This is very sad. My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a child. A wonderful tribute to your friend.
I want people to hear from someone who knows... Your resources are also wonderful. Thanks KCC you are a blessing!
Thank you for adding links to my hubs, Mekenzie. I have added links back to yours as well. :)
Happy New Years to you too AEvans! Kelly now pours herself into her two little ones but never a day goes by that she does not remember the two deposits in Heaven. The family visits their graves, they go on remembrance walks to release balloons to the sky and visit the hospital where the caregivers walked part of their journey with love and compassion. Quite a family. Thanks dear for stopping by again and give your little guy a hug... you and he are blessed.
Mekenzie: We adopted our son my heart goes out to the person that this poem was meant for, it certainly is beautiful! I had to come back and read it again. Happy New Year! :)
Perfect! Absolutely perfect and so touching , again it touched my heart and sould. He is absolutely precious! ::::::::)
Thanks for sharing Steph, Imagine carrying a baby in your womb, feeling its life within you, only to have it die. To even contemplate the loss of a child sends waves of grief through me. My heart goes out to those striving to cope with the loss of a child. What I have learned from other mom's who have lost a child is that the pain never leaves. That child is always a part of them and there is an empty spot that is never filled - even many, many years later. I think that a good friend will allow them to talk about their loss as long and as much as they need to. You don't just 'get over it' and it is cruel to say or expect it.
My favorite cousin's wife had a stillborn baby girl about 3 years ago. Totally heartbreaking. They now have an adorable baby boy, yet the loss is still profound. As a mom of 4, I cannot imagine the grief and sadness!
Thank YOU KCC for sharing your loss on your own hubpage "How Do You Overcome Loosing a Child." The craftmanship of words made the emotions come off the page and tore at my heart. You have offerered some great coping options and resources. I have listed KCC's Link Above. Bless you dear one!
What a wonderful poem for your friend. How incredibly difficult it must have been (and still is) for her to lose two children. Thanks for sharing Mekenzie.
The story is so sad! Kelly lost 2 babies due to a genetic glitch. One baby girl lived only hours in the hospital as the family stood by. The other was a boy who died when he was about one year old (very, very sad experience) before he could get new kidneys. She now has a Boy and a Girl who are totally healthy.
Oh how precious and this has made me cry, it certainly pulled on my heartstrings. :)
RELATED HUBS WITH GREAT RESOURCES
- Grief
Grief slithers in between Death's legs. He descends on the unsuspected living leaving his victims helpless, lost and confused. Grief cares not about one's age, gender, or ability to cope. Grief has the... - How Do You Overcome Losing a Child?
How Do You Overcome Losing a Child? (Copyright 2009 SCC) Losing a child is a horrific experience no parent should ever have to face. It is one of the most unnatural things that can happen to a woman. It's...
Mekenzie Hub Author 6 weeks ago
Anna, I have read your letter (hub) to your baby girl and was deeply moved. It was a gift from God that you recognized that God makes no mistakes and that her little life changed your life.
I am glad they tried again too. In my mind I see her decision as miraculous and courageous. Who would want to put themselves in a position where there is the strong possibility of facing such agony once again?
It was Faith and Hope in her God that resulted in conceiving and birthing 2 healthy children.
God Bless you Anna and may He use your story as a balm of healing and faith.